Continuing the hunt to see what delights are located in my own backyard, Pan’s Fish & Chips is the Mill Wood’s obligatory deep fried fish establishment. Sandwiched between a weight clinic and adult novelty store, I’ve never had a desire to stop in until now. Walking into the restaurant, you realize it’s split between booths on the right and tables on the left. There is even signage that informs you if your are in a group of 4 or less, you must sit on the left side. But what if I want to stretch out in the comfort of a booth. *Shrug*
The restaurant was pretty much dead when I walked in; a mother and son were eating grilled cheese sandwiches while a couple of friends were chowing down on chowder. The restaurant itself was a mix of sea related paraphernalia, from nets to ships, with old tables and chairs. The tiny space is also crammed to the roof with stuff; bottles of booze, napkins, random papers, glasses, crayons, boxes of pop, portable coolers full of ice, even a PS3. The paper menu is double sided and is equally as jam packed as the restaurant. You can find just about every meal you could think of. Seriously, besides fish options (salmon, haddock, cod, pollock,) you can order a cordon blue, grilled cheese, hamburgers, ribs, omelets, and so on. With so many options, I figured the Captain’s Order would give me a decent sample as it included one piece of fish, two scallops, one shrimp, and five calamari rings along with fries.
Opening the plastic bag, I was presented with two boxes and three tiny containers (coleslaw, tartar sauce, and seafood sauce). First up the fries. A complete disaster here, the skin on fries were soggy. Soggy to the point of gross actually, like a ramen noodle. Ugh. So much potential in the world of fries. Next was the fish box. Not much to look at, I attempted to move the piece of fish for a better picture but it ripped in half. This did however give me my first look at the coating, which was extremely thin but oh so greasy. After using my fingers to move the fish around for pictures, I started to wonder if I was going to have to moisture for the next few days. The shrimp was like rubber, same with the calamari, while the scallop was ok. The strange thing about this entire meal, was that the coating was slipping off the seafood. I applied a bit of pressure to the scallop when I picked it up and it flew out of the coating like a banana squeezed by a gorilla. Of course I then attempted the same pressure test with everything else and it did the same thing. How the heck does this even happen.
Needless to say, this wasn’t a meal I was about to finish. With nothing even remotely good in the platter, I’d have to say that while Pan’s Fish & Chips is the kind of place you might end up after a long night of drinking, it’s probably something you’ll regret even more than the hangover.