Sometimes you just need to put a big ole pile of testicles in your mouth. Not every day, but maybe at weddings, birthdays, graduations, the occasional Sunday…why not celebrate with balls.
The hardest thing about cooking testicles is probably buying them. Unlike most places in the world, you can’t just head down to your local grocery store and ask for testicles. Thankfully the gang over at Acme Meat – where I normally go to check about offal – is pretty good about the occasional supply. Again, it’s still not common, but with a bit of notice they can probably get you some.
On this occasion, I picked up three lamb testicles. Skinning/peeling the testicles is rather easy. After you have taken off the outer section, you make a slit and run your finger around to free the ‘meat’. I opted to cook up the two biggest balls. Wondering about the meatiness of these big balls, I tossed them onto my scale and was pleasantly surprised that they weighed in at 357 grams. Not a bad serving!
I heated up oil in a cast iron skillet and added diced onion and whole cloves of garlic. I sliced the testicles in half and then then again across the grain. Adding salt and pepper, before putting them into the hot pan for about 15 minutes; stirring occasionally to get everything mingled together.
After plating, I squeezed a hunk of lemon over top and finished with a sprinkle of flaky salt.
Similar in texture to sweet breads, the lamb testicles were pretty damn tasty. There was a rich feeling to the dish with a slight pungent gaminess. The gaminess was the classic offal reminder that you weren’t just eating another piece of regular white meat. Everything I’ve read tells me that testicles are high in lean protein, but the cholesterol might get after you if you really went buck wild for balls. You’re probably not going to rush out and buy a package of balls, but maybe, just maybe, you’ll take the plunge!